ABOUT US!

Welcome to our new high-rize (you know, like Martha White biskits) office building overlooking beootiful Podunk, TN!

Our three-story office facility has all the high-tech amenities needed to fill your every need ... well, except for a ladder to get in the door. But we're working on that!

Yur data protected by hi sekurity

Of course, we spare no expense to protect your valubul data with the latest in hi-tech security. Our Coors™ security system goes off at the slightest disturbance.

Why, Uncle Ernie passed gas one day and set that system to ringing for three days!

Of course, if you need us to drop you a rope so you can get in the office (see top piktur), well, it comes in awful handy for that, too! Just just it a pull!

Employee benufits

We have installed a playground, complete with horseshoe court for our hired help - when they're sober enuf to stand up. Of course, we had to make the horseshoes a little bigger because Uncle Ernie there on the left can't see too good ... so please be kareful walking around outside when Uncle Ernie''s in the playground.

Swimmin' Hole Just fer Kustomers

On them hot days when the air kondituning don't wurk too good, we have our own private swimmin' hole just fer kustomers. Just don't try divin' in from our office window. One of them citified idiuts tried it one day and they had to haul him off in a wheelbarrer.

Cousin Clarence there, our buukkeeper, is just modelin'. We don't let him use it much tho cuz he's kind of bookish, if you know whut I meen ... gigglin' a little too much like some girlie.

Latest Business Tools and Accuturements

Our billing department has the latest account equipment we could find at Aunt Mamie's outhouse sale. Once we figur out all them thar keys, we expect to start making lots of money.

Bubba. who is real handy with tools 'n things, is the designer of our new pencil holder ... plus you otter see what all he can make out of Budweiser beer tabs! This man is a genius.

Livin' and workin' out in the holler, sometimes the power don't work too good - and then we don't always get the phone bill paid on time, so (always keeping you, the kustomer, in mind) we contracted for this state of the art mobile web dezine lab, so we can come strait to the job site. Of course, we might have to uze yer plug-in thingie until we come up with a generator.

Corporate yacht

Now when we reelly want to impress some big-bucks kustomer, we take 'em out on the company yacht down to the swamp, spray 'em down good with Off! and get 'em downright happy on Budweiser while Bubba (you saw him starrin' in that thar movie Deliverance), sorta convinces 'em to sign a long-term, no-cancel contract.

Heck, for our bottom line it even beets welfare and fud stamps!

Engineering subdivision

Just to shew yu we ain't a bunch a backwurd hicks like some o them Yankees say about us Suthernurs, we branched out into engineering recently and kame up with this riding mower after Aunt Mamie said she's shur like one fer them hot summer days. We thought she'd jump up and down with exitment but she didn't, so we're sellin' this here riding mower real cheap.

Heck, you can even deliver pizza on it and mow the yard at the same time. Make an offer!